Every Christian a Minister

The one-anotherness (each-otherness) of ministering -- Insights into the ways of the Early Church, and how our CG should function when each one of us is a Minister. (All passages quoted below are from the NIV)

Love one another

John 13:34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Romans 13:8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.

1 John 3:23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.

1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 Pet 1:22 Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.

1 Pet 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 Thes 3:12 May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.

Live in harmony with one another

Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

1 Cor 12:25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.

Be devoted to one another & Honor one another

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Stop passing judgment on one another

Romans 14:13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.

James 4:11 Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.

Accept one another & Agree with one another

Romans 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

1 Pet 4:9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

1 Cor 1:10 I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.

Bearing with one another, Forgiving each other & be Kind to each other

Eph 4:1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Col 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

1 Thes 5:15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

Submit to one another

Eph 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Humility toward one another

1 Pet 5:5 Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Encourage one another & Speak to one another for mutual Edification

1 Thes 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Heb 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

Heb 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Heb 10:25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Eph 5:19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,

Romans 14:19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

Confess your sins to each other & Pray for each other, & Do not Lie to each other

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Col 3:9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices

Instruct one another

Romans 15:14 I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.

Authentic Fellowship

How do we learn the deep "one another" community of Scripture without being in close proximity?

Community in the New Testament sense of koinonia assumes and requires face-to-face communication, whether in a horse-and-buggy age or an Internet age. Three things marked New Testament Christian community: It was centered in Jesus Christ—believers met together as Jesus' followers, constituting his body; this fellowship was a gift of the Holy Spirit; and the community was missional. That is, the New Testament community was directed toward a purpose outside itself—actually being a living witness to Christ and the gospel's power in the world.

Many churches have a superficial idea (and experience) of community. Christian community is easily mistaken for mere cordiality, courtesy, or sociability. It easily becomes least-common-denominator "fellowship," not much different from the Kiwanis or a neighborhood potluck. Often so-called Christian community is marked by nothing that is specifically Christian and nothing that challenges the values of surrounding pagan society.

The question as posed, however, hints at the answer: The "one another" passages in the New Testament. Several things stand out when we look at the many "one anothers," such as "be devoted to one another" (Rom. 12:10), "serve one another" (Gal. 5:13), "carry one another's burdens" (Gal. 6:2).

First, most of these passages imply behaviors, not just attitudes. The New Testament writers are less concerned with how believers feel about each other than they are about their actions—their living together as community and publicly as disciples. Sometimes we reverse this, focusing on attitudes but forgetting action.

Second, all the "one another" passages imply a social context—appropriate structures in which these behaviors can be lived out. In the New Testament, of course, the early church was essentially a network of home fellowships and this happened more naturally.

Today, in congregations of hundreds and thousands, most of the "one anothers" happen through home groups or other small-group structures—Bible studies, choirs, and so on. But not all of these structures are as intentional or as deep as the New Testament sense of community.

Third, nearly all the "one another" passages are imperatives—instructions about actual behaviors, not reminders of abstract spiritual truths we can enjoy meditating upon. The New Testament is full of these "one another" injunctions precisely because early Christians needed to be reminded of them.

If so then, even more so today. Hebrews 10:24-25 shows that mutual encouragement ("…spur one another on toward love and good deeds…") was a primary church function. The author of Hebrews tells these brothers and sisters to be intentional: Consider how you may prompt one another to the practical living out of your faith.

This passage also hints, however, that "some" were developing a bad "habit" of neglecting the meetings. So it is in any age or culture. Some people will drop by the wayside. The temptation, then, is to water down the intimacy or frequency or cost of meeting together to accommodate those who want something less demanding.

This is a fatal mistake. Historical and sociological studies have shown repeatedly that churches with high belonging expectations are more vital, grow faster, have more countercultural impact, and last longer than those that relax the intensity of their community life.

In small groups, it is important to share your concerns and "growing edges" and to study Scripture. Face-to-face community in such contexts is not a secondary add on—it is the church itself as described in Acts 2:42 ("They devoted themselves … to the fellowship") and in the "one another" passages.

When in 1738 John Wesley started the religious group known as the Fetter Lane Society, he said that he did so "in obedience to the command of God by St. James, and by the advice of Peter Böhler." The reference is to James 5:16 ("Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed").

Wesley came to understand—as other Christians have learned—that Christians don't naturally confess to each other. It takes the kind of trust and openness that develops only in some form of face-to-face community. That is the way churches know what it means to "be healed."

Howard A. Snyder is professor of the history and theology of mission at Asbury Theological Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky.

Reasons to Join CGroup

Eight Reasons to Join CG/Small Group

You will understand the Bible better in a small group.

If you've ever listened to a Bible teacher or preacher and wanted to stop that person and say, "But what about...?" or "I don't understand," then a small group is for you! Preaching and teaching is one way communication. You listen while the speaker speaks. It's fine for imparting knowledge but not as effective for personal application as a small group. In a small group setting, you can ask questions, participate in a discussion of the text, and hear others share insights and illustrations of the truth you are trying to grasp. The Bible must be applied to your own personal situations and that happens best in small groups.

Sometimes I've had people tell me after a service, "Pastor Rick, it would be helpful if I could sit down with some others and discuss the implications of your message today. You said so much, I need to digest it!" Many of our groups are using the Sunday morning message outline as a Bible discussion guide.

You will begin to really feel like part of God's family.

Most people who have been a part of a group say the greatest benefit is the close relationships and friendships that develop. They will frequently telephone each other during the week to share an urgent prayer request or an exciting answer. You'll discover that your needs and problems are not unique. We're all in the same boat. It helps to know that others are facing the same difficulties, or have lived through them and learned spiritual principles in the process.

Over fifty times in the New Testament the phrase "one another" is used to describe our relationship to other believers. We are instructed to love one another, encourage one another, pray for one another, accept one another, bear one another's burdens, and build up one another. The only way you can obey these commands is in a small group! We really do need each other. God never meant for you to go it alone in the Christian life. If you're lonely, the answer to your problem is to join a group.

Prayer will become more meaningful to you.

Many people are hesitant to pray in front of others, especially in a large church. In a small group of 6 to 12, you will learn to participate in prayer by having a conversation together with God. No one is pressured to pray, but as you become comfortable, you'll be able to pray sentence prayers and join in. There are many promises in the Bible related to group prayer. In praying together with a few others, we are drawn together and we find answers to the needs in our lives.

You will be able to handle stress and pressure better.

Small groups provide excellent support in times of crisis, change, and stress. You'll have a sense of stability and security knowing there are people who really care for you and are committed to standing with you.

When someone loses a job, or a family member has an extended illness, or a mother needs a babysitter - these are practical needs that will be naturally taken care of through your small group. Your group will coordinate the sharing of hot meals to be brought in when your family is in need. Many people in our church could testify that they would not have made it through a difficult time if it hadn't been for the support of their group. In addition, we have a number of special support groups that deal with problems like alcoholism, financial difficulty, abuse, and other needs.

You will have a natural way to share Christ with friends, relatives, and work associates.

It may be that some of your friends who don't I know the Lord wouldn't be caught dead in a church. They have a preconceived idea and just the thought makes them defensive. But those same people may be open to an invitation to a casual Bible discussion in a home or office setting. In a small group, your unbelieving friend can ask questions and express honest doubts without feeling "put on the spot". When your friend sees the love and warmth and honesty of your group, it will make him more receptive to the Good News.

You will develop leadership skills you never knew you had!

The Bible teaches that every believer is given certain talents or "gifts" to benefit others in the family of God. Unfortunately most Christians remain as Sunday morning spectators all their lives because large group meetings are primarily "sit and listen" situations. As you share and participate in a relaxed small group setting, you'll discover your confidence and self-esteem rising. This will help you at work, at church, and in every other relationship.

You will deepen your understanding of worship.

Many believers mistakenly believe that worship can only happen on Sunday morning in a large group with a sermon, a choir, and an offering plate! Worship happens anytime we focus on God. Sometimes that happens best in a smaller group in praying or singing together. At Saddleback, we are authorizing the Lay Pastor of each group to serve the Lord's Supper whenever the group wants to have a communion service.

You will be a New Testament Christian!

The book of Acts is very clear about how God intends for His people to grow and have their needs met in the church. We will never be able to hire enough professional pastors to meet all the individual needs in our family. God never intended for it to be that way!

Consider these verses:

"They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Every day they continued to meet together... they broke bread in their homes and ate together... and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved." Acts 2:42, 44, 46-47

"Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the Good News that Jesus is the Christ." Acts 5:42

"Greet also the church that meets at their house." Rom. 16:5

"Aquilla and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord and so does the church that meets at their house."

I Cor. 16: 19

"Give my greetings...to Nympha and the church in her house." Col. 4: 15

I am excited about the incredible potential of the network of CG/small groups we're building within Saddleback Church. Small Groups have these eight benefits that no believer can afford to pass up. If you are not participating in a group, why not join one this week?

Why We Need Small Groups by Roberta Hestenes, Discipleship Journal, Issues 41 / 08/08/05

"We were not called to go it alone. There are millions of people in America who claim to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Yet look at what is happening to the moral fiber of our country. Look at the difference we are not making.

"One of the reasons we are not making it is that we send our sheep out one by one to be eaten by wolves. Instead, we should be gathering together to do the work of God in the marketplace and in our neighborhoods. We are to serve as a community.

"Small groups are not simply a program for the church. They are a way of being the church. I am convinced that without intentional Christian community, we cannot be the people of God for each other and to the world as God intended."

© Copyright 2005 Smalley Relationship Center. Used by permission.

Three ways to get small groups going by Brett Eastman

So you're on your way to launching small groups at your church. But you're still wondering how it's going to work. How am I going to inspire them? How am I going to lead them? Will people really get involved? Of course, your main objective will be to spark a vision within the hearts of your lay leaders, as their roles will be primary in this small group movement. Three leadership principles will help you do this successfully.

Lead with your heart

You've heard it time and again. People need to know that you care before they care what you know. They need to see your heart for them. So when it comes to equipping your small group leaders, the best thing you can do is to follow the example of Jesus, who called his disciples to be with him. This means not only doing ministry together but doing life together. Invite them to dinner. Find out about their lives. Then you will be better able to love them, cheer them on, and show gratitude for them.

Love them with your hands

Those who are involved in leading small groups need a lot of encouragement. A hand shake from you, a high five, or a note of affirmation can work wonders in a weary heart. When you follow up with them and let them know they are doing a good job, you potentially provide fuel to keep them focused and motivated. Another way to keep them going is to remind them of the big picture, how small groups are a means to grow believers and build up the church.

Listen with your head.

When you meet with small group leaders, you should be prepared with thoughtful questions and challenges. Then as you listen to their responses, you can encourage them to launch what they are suggesting, to take ownership of their ideas. People love following a leader, but people follow those who let them lead.

And by the way, I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not your congregation will get involved. Even though everyone is so busy, the desire to belong is greater than their busy feeling. In fact, this need for belonging is the strongest felt need in society. So be encouraged that you're on the right track toward meeting people where they are.

Copyright © 2004 Lifetogether.

What are Qualifications of an Effective Small Group Leader?

If you're going to be involved with small groups, you need to know what it takes to lead.

1. Be a place of genuine commitment. We live in a world that is starved for meaningful relationships. People live across the street from each other for years and never know each other's names. Co-workers are just a voice on a telephone line half a continent away. Aunts, uncles, and cousins are just names on a Christmas list.
   

   People need commitment and a sense of community. They need to know they have a group of people who are dedicated to loving them, anxious to serve them, and willing to share the joys and sorrows of life with them. Your small group should be a place where people experience the joy of being committed to each other and the sense of community and belonging that results from that.
   

   In building commitment and community one of the most difficult things to keep a handle on is how everyone is feeling about himself and the small group process. Some people are vocal enough to let you know exactly where they stand, but most are shy about expressing their feelings about being in the group.
   

   It's good to remember that most people have ambivalent feelings about being in small groups. They are unsure if they'll fit in, if they have anything worth contributing, if they will be treated with respect and dignity, and if they are genuinely liked and appreciated by other group members. If those issues aren't recognized and addressed early on, members can dry up and blow away without ever giving a hint they were in trouble. When that happens, everyone loses. The group isn't as strong because it loses the input of a unique, valuable person, and the person misses a chance to build relationships, and strengthen his or her home.
   

   People need to feel that they are a valuable part of the group. And while it is important for each person to make an effort to communicate value to the others, the leader can go a long way in setting the pace for that kind of appreciation and respect.
   

2. An attitude of servant-hood. In other words, focus on the needs of the group and not your own. In order to do this it is important to ask them questions to draw out their needs. For example, "What will make this a great group experience for you?" "What needs to happen to make this a '10' for you?" or "What are your expectations for the group?" Questions like these can get to the heart of what people "need" from the group.
   
3. A willingness to spend outside time with the group, especially with the men. Doing so is a tangible way of saying; "I care about you.
   
4. A commitment to consistently communicate love and appreciation to the group as a whole and each member individually. Doing so will earn you a place of affection and respect with them forever.
   
5. Taking advantage of opportunities to praise the group members' strengths, talents, and abilities in front of the others. In doing so, you model the very core of this program - HONOR.
   
6. Maintaining positive eye contact and good non-verbal communication with everyone in the room.
   
7. Making a conscious effort to include everyone in-group activities. This may take some gentle prodding on your part, but keep at it. It's good for the person and the group!
   
8. Know the difference between persuading and forcing. Simply stated: Persuasion is the art of positive, motivational influence that prompts another person to respond in a hoped-for manner. On the other hand, force is a dominant, negative motivational influence that compels another to comply with an insisted-upon response. It targets a person's weakness and uses fear and guilt to motivate. Remember! Persuasion tends to build unity; force can tear unity apart.
   
9. The appropriate use of humor. Remember two simple rules: (1) Be yourself, and use it to help effectively communicate key concepts to your group, not to simply entertain them. (2) Avoid using others' weaknesses or slips (like mispronunciations) to humor the group.
   
10. Modeling good listening skills. Many times, people say one thing but mean something totally different. Good listening skills not only hear what is said verbally, but listen to "why" something was said or "what" was truly meant by the spoken words.
    
11. Communicating in a clear, simple interesting way. This simply means to speak with enthusiasm and energy and to say things as simply and directly as possible. Any personal experiences, (i.e., "the time we had a flat tire in the middle of the Mojave desert..."), can help keep the group's interest and attention.
    
12. Emotional Word Pictures can be useful also. An Emotional Word Picture is a communication method that uses either an object or a story that simultaneously activates a person's emotions and intellect. And it causes a person to not just hear our words but experience them. In using these, concentrate on the emotion you want the people to feel and design your picture around one of their interests. For example, in trying to communicate how excited you are when you're with your wife, you might say, "Being with my wife is so exciting, it's like walking into the world's largest mall and realizing that the entire mall is having a half off sale!"
    
13. Using the Salt principle. Salt makes people thirsty, and the goal of this principle is to create a thirst for constructive conversation in which both you and your group can learn about each other's needs. Simply, it means to never communicate information you consider to be important without first creating a burning curiosity within the listener. For example, "This next concept is one of the most important things that I've learned. It has done more in my marital relationship than anything else." This type of statement forces others to thirst for the next concept you are referring to.
    
14. Using good discussion questions. A good question is one in which members discover truth for themselves. Therefore, don't ask questions that have one correct answer (e.g., "Is commitment important in a relationship?"). Furthermore, there are several different kinds of questions, each designed to elicit different information. Some of those types are:
    

    Information and opinion, such as, What do you think?
    

    Relational, such as, How do you feel?
    

    Experiential, such as, What was that like for you?
    

    Self disclosure, such as, What's a fear you have?
    

    Accountability, such as, How are you doing with your commitment to more fully honor each other?
    

    In order to ask good questions, we encourage you to think about some of these rules:
    

    Practice good listening skills. Ask questions to draw out someone's discussion.
    

    Encourage questions but stay focused on the theme. Postpone questions that don't apply to the session.
    

    Promote application to the principles. "How are things going with this area?"
    

    Promote transparency by being transparent as a leader.
    

    Promote the safety of trust and support. The group must support being confidential about personal areas.
    

    Be personal and caring. People respond to genuine caring.
    

    Encourage honesty but discourage a harsh spirit. Truth can be overwhelming if it is not shared in a genuine loving spirit.
    

    Look for ways to encourage each participant in their own personal growth.
    

15. An awareness of the different levels of communication and how they affect intimacy. There are several different kinds of communication, such as (1) Cliché conversation, "The weather has been hot hasn't it?" (2) Information and facts, "I'm going with a new firm next month." Or (3) Ideas and opinions, "I dislike what's going on with the homeless in our community." A simple rule of thumb here is that the greater the degree of risks in what's shared the greater the potential for intimacy to develop.
    
16. Transparency This can be a fearful thing for any leader, but the payoff is well worth it. As one veteran of small groups has put it, What I lost in impressiveness, I gained double in approachability. With permission from your mate before the meeting, share your appropriate failures and struggles. The bottom line is don't hesitate to use your own stories. People get far more from a story than they do from content. The best is when you use a story to convey content.
    
17. A respect for and sensitivity to each group member. Regardless of his or her background or faults, each person is valuable and has a unique contribution to make to the group.
    
18. Providing equal support and encouragement to each group member. Favoritism can hinder the group's ability to function. Be careful to be as impartial with each person as you can. Remember also that most positive change takes place in others' lives when they are encouraged, not discouraged or criticized.
    
19. Enthusiasm People love to follow someone who's excited about what he does. Allow the group to see your passion for helping them make their families a success, and watch your group take off.
    
20. An ability to keep the group on schedule. There's a real art to this, because every group gets off track some time and there's nothing wrong with that. If you control things too rigidly, your group can become frustrated they're not being allowed to express themselves.
    
21. An ability to keep discussions on the central subject while still allowing room for some digression. Some guidelines to follow are:
    

    Don't allow more talkative members of the group to ramble. Don't be afraid to interrupt and carry on.
    

    Permit those who are not as talkative more latitude in getting off the subject. What you lose in temporary continuity you gain in their long-term input and involvement.
    

    Diffuse argumentation. If an argument or disagreement starts, don't allow it to continue. If you can reconcile the problem quickly, do so. Otherwise, defer it until after the session is over and meet with the parties involved.
    

    Use steer 'em back questions like, That's an interesting point, Jim. Let's get back, though, to what we were saying a moment ago.
    

22. Faithfulness to your commitment. Almost nothing speaks as loudly to a group as its leader's integrity. Remember that they will see the covenant you sign and will be watching to see if you follow through.
    

*Discipleship Journal / © Copyright 2003 Smalley Relationship Center

Are you the boss or the leader?

A BOSS:	A LEADER:
creates fear	creates trust (1 Thess. 2:10-11)
serves himself	serves others (1 Cor. 9:19)
aims to make himself successful	aims to make others successful (1 Tim. 4:6)
says, "I"	says, "we" (1 Cor. 3:5-9)
fixes blame	fixes mistakes (Philemon 18-19)
knows how	shows how (Exodus 18:17)
makes work a grind	makes work worthwhile (Nehemiah)
drives	leads (John 10:11-15)
wields authority	empowers people (2 Tim. 2:2)
relies on the power of authority	relies on the power of servanthood (Matt. 20:25-28)